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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25709416">Fireflies and flowers</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/leekintheboat/pseuds/leekintheboat'>leekintheboat</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Also: Suga and Daichi are dating but that doesn't surprise anyone, From friends to lovers ig, Hanahaki Disease, I'm Sorry, M/M, Team Mom Sugawara Koushi, bruh, so yeah Hanahaki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 10:48:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,698</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25709416</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/leekintheboat/pseuds/leekintheboat</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Are you homophobic, Kei?” his brother seemed to be fighting between concern and laughter.</p><p>“What? No! Of course not.” he blabbered “I don’t care of what people do.”</p><p>Akiteru raised his hands in surrender. “Okay, okay. Just making sure you don’t hate yourself more than you normally do.”</p><p>Kei facepalmed “I’m not gay. I don’t like any guy-”</p><p>Realitzation hit him like a crashing wave as he started coughing, relying on the car’s door. Of course. Everything was starting to make sense.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>99</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. the beggining of the end</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi! I'm really nervous about this. Hope y'all enjoy.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It all started after the Shiratorizawa match.<br/>His hands and forearms felt raw, and he was completely exhausted. Seriously, did the freak duo eat All Might's hair for breakfast or something? Otherwise he couldn’t explain their stamina levels after a five-set match. Last time he saw them, they were challenging each other to see how many water bottles they could juggle at the same time while coach Ukai shouted at them, not really angry, for the matter.</p><p>Kei, for his part, had taken off his glasses and was having some rather miserable thoughts while looking at an empty sink when Yamaguchi bursted through the bathroom door.</p><p>“Tsukki, the awards ceremony is starting.” Then he stopped, and Kei could <em>feel</em> his expression filling with concern “Is something wrong?”</p><p>“I said I would stop a handful of his spikes.” Kei muttered under his breath “but I was only able to stop one...Even though there were five sets.” He continued to look directly at the sink while talking. At least the sink would not look at him with pity. “Talk about lame-”</p><p>“There’s no way that you were lame! Are you stupid?! Stupid-”</p><p>Kei did look at Yamaguchi this time. He was feeling exhausted and confused, and the last thing he needed was having another voice talking shit about him. Or whatever.</p><p>“This isn’t the time to be down! We’re going to nationals!” he shouted, gesturing with his hands. Then he pointed to the exit, “But before that, the awards ceremony!”</p><p>The door got shut with a loud <em>bam</em>, and Yamaguchi’s footsteps started fading.</p><p><em>Cool.</em> Kei grabbed his glasses and put them on. His lips curved into a smirk. Yamaguchi was really breaking out of his shell, huh. He was happy for him, of course, not that he would ever say it out loud. Actually, since the Tokyo summer camp he started to see Yamaguchi differently. He was proud of his best friend. He was proud of how Yamaguchi had started to shine on his own. He was proud that all his friend’s extra work resulted in those amazing float serves.</p><p>So, if some days later Kei could pinpoint the exact moment when everything started going to shit, this would be it; feeling happy about Yamaguchi in an empty bathroom.</p><p>Only then he started to feel the familiar flutter on his lungs. Kei ignored the feeling, pushing it into the back of his mind, like he always did.<br/>But this time, it didn’t stop there. He also started to feel his heartbeat quickening as the panic started to invade him. His mind foggy, his hands grasping at his chest. He couldn’t breathe. <em>He couldn’t breathe.</em><br/>He started to walk to the door. Perhaps Yamaguchi wasn’t so far, and perhaps he could tell him what the hell was happening to him. At the thought of Yamaguchi, he started to cough.</p><p>He bolted to one of the bathroom stalls, nearly tripping over his own feet. He didn’t even manage to close the door after him before hunching over the toilet.<br/>His eyes closed so tight they were starting to hurt. He took off his glasses and ran a hand through his hair. He was feeling sick. He was feeling very sick. His lungs and throat started to feel raw as he coughed into the bathroom.</p><p>When he saw the flower petals floating in the water, he nearly didn’t even have the strength to be confused. They smelled just like the ones Yamaguchi’s mom used to have around the house. He remembered that once, Yamaguchi ate some of the petals and got really sick. Now the one feeling sick was him, kneeling over a toilet in a bathroom stall, coughing up flowers.</p><p>When the coughing subsided and Kei managed to get on his wobbly feet, he rested by the bathroom stall wall. He didn’t even hear him coming.<br/>“Tsukki?”</p><p>
  <em>Fuck.</em>
</p><p>“Are you okay? Are you sick?”</p><p>“I’m fine” Kei lied, as he flushed the toilet. He saw the petals floating on the toilet water, and then disappearing.</p><p>Yamaguchi was waiting for him near the sinks. He looked really concerned; brows knitted, hands fidgeting. “Do you need to go to the infirmary?”</p><p>“I said I’m fine” He said, perhaps a little bit too hoarsely.</p><p>-.-</p><p>“You okay, bro? You look pale like a ghost.” Tanaka also looked concerned. Fantastic.<br/><em>You look like an egg.</em><br/>He didn’t even feel like starting a fight. What was wrong with him?<br/>Kei took the water bottle that Tanaka was offering him, but he didn’t say a thing.</p><p>Some hours later, on the supper table, he remembered the awards ceremony like a dream. The heat of the spotlights, the tiles squeaking under his volleyball shoes, the weight of the medal on his neck.<br/>Literally everyone was either beaming or sleeping on the table except him. Even the King seemed happy, or the closest he could get to happy, which was a weird grin on his face.<br/>After the main dish, Hinata fell asleep over his rice bowl, and Kageyama followed suit and fell backwards, knocking over a chair. He didn’t even wake up. Next to Kei, Yamaguchi laughed at them with Sugawara.</p><p>Well, at least that went against the All Might’s hair theory. He didn’t even feel a bit happy to know that his teammates were not hiding to them the fact that they ate hair for power.<br/>He was about to put his headphones on and zone off for the rest of the supper, obviously risking to be reprimanded by either Ukai or Daichi, when something bumped into him.</p><p>When he turned his head to give one of his famous death glares to whoever that had the <em>audacity</em> to touch him, he saw that Yamaguchi had fallen asleep on his shoulder. He was even starting to drool, like he always did.</p><p>“Another one down.” Sugawara chanted merryly, and winked at Kei.</p><p>The vice-captain’s happy expression changed into an aware and concerned one as Kei felt his throat closing and started coughing. He really had mom instincts.</p><p>Without thinking too much about it, he practically shoved Yamaguchi into Sugawara and dashed into the hallway, barely avoiding colliding with Daichi. He didn’t even reach the bathroom this time. Before finding it he had to kneel on the floor, hacking and coughing up more of those petals.</p><p>While catching his breath with his back on the wall, he observed the flower petals under the dim light of a fire exit sign. They seemed bigger than the ones from before. They were yellow and green, and vaguely heart-shaped, but they also reminded him of sunflower petals, with some black and brown dots that resembled...freckles?<br/>Thinking about freckles just led to thinking about Yamaguchi’s freckles, and then he started to feel that tingle on his throat and squeezed his chest. What on earth was happening to him?</p><p>He fought to catch his breath again, wheezing, his tears threatening to overflow his waterline.</p><p>He felt a hand on his shoulder and jumped a bit. Sugawara produced a napkin and gave it to him. Without saying a word, Kei cleaned up the petals from the floor and dumped the paper napkin into a trash bin. They started walking through the empty hallways.</p><p>“You are sick, Tsukishima,” he said. It wasn’t a question.</p><p>Kei shrugged. He already knew that.</p><p>“Daichi is talking with Coach Ukai and Takeda-sensei. He will call your parents and they will take you to the hospital.” Sugawara stopped walking.</p><p>Kei wanted to say that his parents were on a business trip, and that they would not return in weeks. He wanted to tell Yamaguchi that he was sorry for pushing him before. He wanted to get out of that building and have some fresh air, and perhaps cry for a bit when no one could see him. After all, he was just a kid and he was really scared.</p><p>“Tsukishima.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“I think you won’t be able to play for a long time.”</p><p>-.-</p><p>He could feel his brother getting nervous as he drove him across the city. The streetlights blinding him as they were left behind. He didn’t feel like talking. He didn’t feel like anything.</p><p>“Tomorrow afternoon I’m taking you to the doctor, okay?” he said as he parked the car next to the house. “Suga-san said you could get your stuff before the morning practice, which by the way, you are not allowed to attend. I'm not telling mom and dad until we know exactly what this is.”</p><p>After taking off his shoes and nodding to Akiteru, Kei went directly to his room and shut the door after him. He didn’t sleep well that night, and he dreamt of foggy places and of freckled flowers.</p><p>At about five in the morning, he gave up and lied awake, looking at his ceiling. A car passed outside his window, and he watched the headlights swipe over the walls of the room, glinting dimly when they reached the little dinosaurs of his table. Yamaguchi always smiled every time he saw them. His lungs felt like sinking.</p><p>Another glimpse of light catched his eyes. His phone. He blindly reached for his glasses and looked at the notifications, gulping at Yamaguchi’s missed calls and texts.</p><p>
  <em>22:53</em>
  <br/>
  <em>[Yamaguchi:]</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Hey Tsukki. Suga-san said you were sick. Are you feeling better?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>23:11</em>
  <br/>
  <em>[Yamaguchi:]</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Should I worry? Make sure you see a doctor, huh?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>23:12</em>
  <br/>
  <em>[Yamaguchi:]</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Anyway, goodnight.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>01:15</em>
  <br/>
  <em>[Yamaguchi:]</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Tsukki.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>If you don’t want to talk about it you know I won't push you, you know it right?</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Just make sure you take care.</em>
</p><p>The familiar tightness on his chest warned him, so he left the phone and went to the bathroom to cough, too tired and numb to be bothered about anything.</p><p>He sat next to the toilet, hugging his knees. Was he allergic to Yamaguchi?</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s go. I’ll drive you to the gym and then back home” his brother was resting by the bathroom door.</p><p>“I can fucking walk. And it’s too damn early. No one will be there” Kei complained, looking at the ceiling. He only wanted to get to bed and get some sleep.</p><p>Surprisingly, Akiteru was smiling.</p><p>“You underestimate your senpais. I’m sure Suga-san and Daichi-san will be there.”</p><p>“Why would they be at the gym at five in the morning?”</p><p>“God, you’re so clueless” laughed him, and then left.</p><p>Kei was feeling like he was missing something, and he hated that feeling. He could say that he was too tired for it to matter, but he would be lying.</p><p> </p><p>It was cloudy outside when Kei got out of the car and headed to the club room, where his stuff from the Shiratorizawa match should be.<br/>Akiteru was right. Sugawara and Daichi were there, sitting on the stairs and talking quietly.</p><p>Kei stopped on his tracks, feeling like he should not be there. If it had been a normal day and he hadn’t been sick, he would have nodded at them and then proceeded to carry his volleyball bag to the car. No big deal. But if coughing up flowers the day before had made him any good, it was that he was hyper-aware of everything.</p><p>The third years had not seen him yet. Daichi said something and Sugawara laughed, placing a hand on the captain’s knee. Kei froze. He knew what was about to happen, but he was so confused about it he didn’t know what to do.</p><p>Sugawara. Sugawara was kissing Daichi. Daichi was kissing him back. Yeah, they were kissing.<br/>And it wasn’t that kind of a big deal, right? But Kei was sweating and his chest felt weird and not in the flowery-way. He was actually unable to stop thinking about it; boys can be kissed. Like, in real life.</p><p> </p><p>His brother was waiting for him next to the car. He looked at him suspiciously.</p><p>“Took you long enough” he said, opening the passenger door. When Kei was near enough for his brother to see his face, Akiteru stopped “You okay? Where’s your bag?”</p><p><em>Oh, right. The bag. The volleyball bag. The bag for volleyball. That bag.</em><br/>Kei opened and closed his mouth a couple of times before recovering the ability to talk.</p><p>“I-” he started, and then looked over his shoulder, to the gym. There wasn’t a soul. “Did you know they were going out?”</p><p>“Yeah. You didn’t?”</p><p>“I think I never ever thought of it.” Kei was feeling very dumb, and he could tell he was losing his characteristic cool.</p><p>“That they were g-?”</p><p>“No! I think I never actually thought of being gay!” he could feel his brother concerned look on him, like when he was a kid and he was embarrassing himself “Look, I’m not saying I didn’t know guys could like guys. I-”</p><p>“Are you homophobic, Kei?” his brother seemed to be fighting between concern and laughter.</p><p>“What? No! Of course not.” he blabbered “I don’t care what people do.”</p><p>Akiteru raised his hands in surrender. “Okay, okay. Just making sure you don’t hate yourself more than you normally do.”</p><p>Kei facepalmed “I’m not gay. I don’t like any guy-”</p><p>Realization hit him like a crashing wave as he started coughing, relying on the car’s door. Of course. Everything was starting to make sense.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sooo... hope you enjoyed this :)<br/>As some of you have probably guessed, this fic is inspired by Roses Are Red, by unbreakable-red-riot on Wattpad. One of my favourites, cuz Hanahaki slaps.<br/>Also, English is not my first nor my second language, so if you see any mistakes please feel free to correct me.</p><p>Thanks for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. gay or european</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The doctor didn’t tell them anything that they didn’t already know, except for the disease’s name. <em>Hanahaki</em>. How original. He also prescripted Kei some medicine. It wouldn’t stop the flowers, it was to boost his immune system to get rid of them or something. He also talked with his brother about unrequited love. Bullshit.</p><p>The ride home was silent.</p><p>“Spit it out already” he sighed.</p><p>His brother drove a bit more before asking “It’s Tadashi, isn’t it?”</p><p>A flash of a grin and freckles crossed his mind. He started coughing again. Kei wiped off the petals and saliva from his face with his sleeve. “Hey, Akiteru.”</p><p>“Yes?” his brother seemed a bit scared.</p><p>“Fuck off.”</p><p> </p><p>When they arrived home, Kei took one of the pills with a glass of water, because the doctor had told him to do so after every flower attack. Akiteru was looking at him from the other side of the kitchen.</p><p>“Does he know?” he asked weakly, trying his best to not puke flowers again. He didn’t. Maybe the medicine actually worked.</p><p>If Yamaguchi knew, Kei really wouldn’t know what to do. He knew that their friendship wouldn’t be the same, and that wouldn't even matter if every damn time they got close or Kei thought about him, he puked flowers.</p><p>His brother shrugged “I don’t think so. You should tell him, Kei.”</p><p>Kei made a weird gesture with his head, feeling a bit numb. “Knowing him, he’ll probably feel guilty for not lo-... for not liking me back or something.” He coughed a bit, but no flowers reached his lips. Finally, some good news.</p><p>“You don’t know that. And you heard the doctor; there are only two ways to cure Hanahaki. He either loves you back or you take the medicine until you can’t feel anything.”</p><p>-.-</p><p>Everyone had always told him that love was a beautiful thing, but now he was learning on his own what love really meant. Love meant coughing flowers everytime he thought about him. Love meant having to take medicine that made him numb. Love meant pain.</p><p>And it hurted, it really hurted. Not being able to play volleyball because he couldn’t breathe properly. Being unable to talk to his best friend without having to rush to a bathroom and cough flowers. Being unable to acknowledge his own feelings because he was sick of them.</p><p>Daichi would probably kill him if he knew he practiced volleyball on his own, and then hang his corpse on the volleyball net as a warning for others, but Kei took the risk. He couldn’t afford to be left behind. Not again. Also, he quickly found out that he could do it if Yamaguchi wasn’t there. So he relied on volley to feel better, and it worked.</p><p>However, he still had to see Yamaguchi every day at class, and his chest would hurt every time he saw his friend looking at him with concern and pain. Concern because he still coughed some flowers from time to time into a napkin. Pain because they hadn’t really talked since the ceremony award, after the Shiratorizawa match, two weeks ago.</p><p>And perhaps it was Kei’s mind going wild with the medication, but he had the feeling that Yamaguchi lingered around him longer, like waiting for him to say something, or started completely one-sided conversations on their breaks or while walking home. And although Kei had never been the best at reading feelings, he could tell that his best friend was feeling down and stressed.</p><p>And it all exploded one Thursday afternoon.</p><p>Tanaka and Nishinoya came by his classroom to tell him that Daichi had agreed to let him back on the court, only under the condition to take it easy. Kei didn’t need to be told twice.</p><p>He arrived late at the afternoon practice, because he had avoided to coincide with Yamaguchi in the club room. He didn’t feel especially proud of this one, for the matter.</p><p>The thing was, that perhaps Tanaka and Nishinoya were feeling extra dumb that afternoon and particular. And perhaps Kei was feeling extra jumpy and sick that same afternoon in particular. Anyways, the final result of the equation wasn’t good.</p><p>“Glad to have you back.” Sugawara waved at him and placed a hand on his shoulder “Don’t overwork yourself, huh?”</p><p>He nodded, focusing on not focusing on remembering that morning he saw him and Daichi.<br/>
Kei decided to start to practice his diving drills right after warming up. It was fine, he was just feeling a bit cold, and he couldn’t go too fast. After one particularly quick one, he just had to lay on the floor for some seconds, breathing in and out.</p><p>On the other side of the gym, the freak duo were smashing some balls into the other side of the court, while the third years helped Yachi to set the net. Yamaguchi was on his own, practicing his jump float serves.<br/>
Kei looked at him for a while. He had really improved those servers.</p><p>“Just go and tell him, Romeo.”</p><p>Kei turned his head so quickly he actually heard it crunch. Tanaka was next to him, absently keeping Nishinoya in a headlock and grinning like mad.</p><p>Normally, this wouldn’t be anything close to a real conflict. Kei would just make some sassy remark or comment, and then Yamaguchi would giggle covering his mouth, and then the two of them would share their trademark smug smirks.</p><p>When Tanaka saw Kei’s expression, he turned pale. “Bro. It was a joke. Are you okay?” he released his friend from the headlock, who was singing something from which Kei could just hear something about europeans and tiny shorts.</p><p>Kei could feel his blood boiling with rage, but his head was swimming. He didn’t feel anger. He didn’t feel anything. He was numb.<br/>
He sat down on the floor. He had the annoying thought that he should feel...something. Anything.</p><p>“You know, for a long time I thought that you two were actually going out” Nishinoya looked at Yamaguchi, who was helping Yachi with the water bottles. “Ouch.”</p><p>Sugawara retired from his karate-chop pose and looked at them dead in the eye. “Enough, both of you.” He shooed the second years and sat next to Kei.</p><p>Kei looked at him. He wanted to thank him from shooing those dumbasses before him snapping. He wanted to ask him for advice about Yamaguchi. About the flowers. Yeah, the medication may have made him feel numb but he knew Sugawara was hiding something about that.<br/>
But he couldn’t. It was like he had forgotten how to articulate words. He looked at his hands.</p><p>“You know, they may not be the intelligent ones here, but they aren’t wrong about this one.” Sugawara smiled warmly. “You should tell him. He misses you, you know. And I can tell you miss him too.”</p><p>Kei looked at the vice-captain. He felt empty.</p><p>“It’s the medication, right? It’s making you feel weird.” Sugawara looked concerned “I’m getting you some water. Don’t move.”</p><p>Kei nodded once. Even if he wanted to move, he didn’t think he would be able to.</p><p>“Tsukki?”</p><p>He felt somehow relieved. He didn’t feel anything, but he didn’t feel the flowers either.</p><p>“Hey.” Yamaguchi spoke softly, like when he was sleepy or talking to a cat “Tsukki,” he sat on the floor, next to him “are you alright?”</p><p>Kei managed to nod once again. He stayed looking at the tiles of the court, trying to be in control of his heart beat. His lungs were starting to hurt.</p><p>Yamaguchi placed one lock of his hair behind his ear. Kei remembered he always did that when he was feeling nervous “You sure you’re okay? ‘Cause since you got sick after the Shiratorizawa match you’ve been acting all weird.”</p><p>“Yeah.” Kei managed to look at him again, and perhaps the corners of his mouth turned upwards for the first time in many weeks. <em>You worry too much, Yamaguchi</em>. “Yeah, I’m okay.”</p><p>Yamaguchi smiled, and it was like the sun was shining again. He picked his volleyball ball.</p><p>“In that case...You wanna practice some receives?”</p><p>“Sure.”</p><p> </p><p>Kei looked around for Sugawara, but he was already feeling a bit better, and his mind was less foggy, so he followed Yamaguchi and prepared himself to fail a lot of receives.</p><p> </p><p>By the time the two of them were feeling exhausted and drenched in sweat, they sat on the floor, catching their breath. Kei layed down, looking at his forearms.</p><p>“Looks like I’ve finally won,” said Yamaguchi with a bright smile, and dropped beside him.</p><p>Kei scoffed, but he knew Yamaguchi was totally right; the volleyball balls behind them were testimony of that.</p><p>His friend propped himself with his elbows and looked at him, still smiling.</p><p>With a flicker of his eyes, Kei stole a glance, feeling a bit weird, a part of him wanting to know what would happen if he stretched a bit and kissed him.</p><p>Realization slapped him right in the face, stealing all the air from his lungs.</p><p>Because he wanted to kiss. He wanted to kiss Yamaguchi.</p><p>And they were close. So close.</p><p>His eyes snapped up to see Yamaguchi again. He was still looking down at him. His smile had lessened, and his head was slightly tilted to the side, a curious expression on his face.</p><p>The air around them was still, a beat speeding up in Kei’s chest. And maybe it was just his imagination or his bad sight, but the distance between them was slowly disappearing. It would be so easy to lean forward, just a bit, and close the remaining gap between them.</p><p>His heartbeat grew, louder and louder, pounding in his ears.</p><p>It would be so easy, and it was so fucking stupid.</p><p>“Just kiss already, dammit!” Tanaka shouted from a bench.</p><p>A confused silence fell over the whole gym.</p><p>“Tanaka, no.”</p><p>Sugawara’s whisper sounded terrified.</p><p>And then it hit him. There was no way Yamaguchi wanted it too.</p><p>The unmistakable flower fragrance lingering around them, his lungs burning. Kei’s breath shuddered against Yamaguchi’s lips.</p><p>“Get off.” he pushed him without a lot of conviction. His hands were trembling. The pressure on his chest was starting to hurt, and he only could hear a loud ring on his ears. “Just, stay away from me.” he got on his feet, feeling dizzy, and sprinted to the gym’s door.</p><p>“Wait, Tsukki! I’m sorry! I-I didn’t-”</p><p>The door slammed shut behind him as he ran through empty hallways until he found himself in a closed bathroom stall.</p><p> </p><p>Once the coughing began, it wouldn’t stop, so Kei had to hack the reawakened flowers into the toilet, his limbs weak and his eyes damp as his body screamed for oxygen.</p><p>His hands were grasped at the seat of the toilet. He didn’t know how much time had passed since he left the gym. The flower scent was nauseating, and he was just feeling weak and pathetic. The flowers were not stopping. It was hurting so much, he just wanted it to stop.</p><p>At one point he tasted something metallic, and realized he was also coughing blood.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The song Noya sings is There!Right There! from the musical Legally Blonde.</p><p> </p><p>I'm sorry about this chapter, but it's necessary.</p><p>Also, thanks to everyone that commented or gave kudos! It really means a lot to me.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. strawberry shortcake</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A week had already passed since Kei was found by Sugawara coughing blood into a toilet. It hadn’t been a good week: he had had to make lots of doctor appointments, change his medicine, ignore - again- Yamaguchi’s missing calls and messages, call his parents nearly every day to make sure they didn’t come back early because of him, and stress himself to the point he had to remain in bed for three days straight. Obviously, he hadn’t played volleyball or went to Karasuno.</p><p>“Tsukishima?”</p><p>He hadn’t had any flower attak for a while, so he was nearly clean of medication. So that meant he could feel again. He wished he didn’t, but he wasn’t dumb enough to take the medicine without the flowers.</p><p>“Tsukishima.”</p><p>He realized he missed Yamaguchi, more than he was prepared to admit. He missed walking with him to morning practice, and walking back home. He missed talking and laughing with him during class hours or breaks. He missed waiting for his french fries to get soggy and then lie and tell him that he wasn’t hungry, so Yamaguchi could have them. His smile was always worth it.</p><p> </p><p>“Tsukishima, you are not focusing.”</p><p>Kei lowered his pencil. Sugawara was looking at him from the other side of the table. They had been practicing English for two hours, and he was starting to zone off.<br/>It had been Akiteru’s idea to ask Sugawara to tutor Kei while he had to stay home. Sugawara was a good tutor, and he explained everything really well. Kei only wondered if the third year also took the offer to warn him about the flowers or worse; lecture him about them. The thing was, one week into tutoring, he hadn’t really said anything about that.</p><p>“How did you stop them?” he asked without thinking too much about it.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“How did you stop the flowers? It’s obvious that you have had Hanahaki, but you look like you don’t have it anymore.”</p><p>Sugawara sighed with a little smile.</p><p>“You’re right, of course. I also had it in my first year” he smiled a bit wider. “I didn’t stop them. The flowers stopped themselves.”</p><p>“Because you told Sawamura, right?” It was Kei’s turn to sigh. He had been expecting that answer. He didn’t have that option. Not after what happened at the gym and then the unread messages.</p><p>The setter nodded.</p><p>“More or less. Hanahaki comes from unrequited love. Once you realize it’s not unrequited, the flowers just…” he gestured vaguely with his hands, and his pencil flyed through the room and landed on the floor “go away. It’s like learning to properly breathe again after being too much time under the water.”</p><p>Kei looked down to his homework sheets as Sugawara looked for his pencil.</p><p>“Isn’t there another way?” he asked, though he perfectly knew the answer.</p><p>Sugawara shaked his head while doing his best mom-face.</p><p>“You’re putting yourself through all this pain… for what?” he sat down on his chair “You know, he always asks me about you. He’s not angry, he just misses you as much as you miss him.”</p><p>Kei felt like he was scowling. He probably was.<br/>Sugawara inhaled loudly and shifted on his chair. He looked at him with a concerned look, that one that his brother had had since the Shiratorizawa match.</p><p>“Actually, it wasn’t me who told him. He told me first, so-”</p><p>“So?”</p><p>“I punched him on the stomach” he murmured, grinning sheepishly.</p><p>Kei laughed. Like, he actually laughed for the first time in days. Perhaps in weeks. He felt relieved and <em>alive</em>. “You what?”</p><p>“I panicked, okay?” Sugawara was laughing too, then he got serious all of a sudden “That’s why I’m telling you: tell Yamaguchi how you feel.”</p><p>Kei didn’t say a thing. His chest hurt a bit, but nothing serious. Sugawara sighed again and tried to focus on his homework until he received a text on his phone and answered smiling.</p><p>“Gotta go.”</p><p>They cleaned up the table and Kei followed him to the door. Sawamura was waiting outside with an umbrella. The setter smiled and patted Kei’s shoulder.</p><p>“It’s worth the try, Tsukishima.”</p><p>Sugawara left the house strutting like a penguin.</p><p>-.-</p><p>It was a Monday afternoon. It had been raining for some days, and the house was getting cold. Kei had been watching a particularly amusing lizard documentary when the doorbell woke him up.</p><p>He opened the door to Tanaka, with Nishinoya on his shoulders. They apologised for their <em>bro-lacking behaviour</em>, and they even bowed - Nishinoya almost fell - and gave him a box inside a plastic bag. Kei felt tempted to scoff a bit, and then he took the bag and nodded in acknowledgement. When Kei asked them if they wanted to come inside or at least borrow an umbrella, they shook their heads and told him they were going to meet Hinata to play rain-volleyball or something like that.<br/>Kei did scoff this time.</p><p>When they had disappeared around the corner of the street, Kei realized he had been polite to them, and found himself wondering if Sugawara’s kindness was highly contagious.</p><p>The box contained a written note in which both of them apologized again, and a piece of strawberry shortcake. Yamaguchi probably told them it was his favourite.</p><p>He smiled briefly as he searched for a fork and a plate and settled down on the sofa again.</p><p> </p><p>When Akiteru came back, he found the house in complete darkness, and Kei fast asleep on the sofa, with a smile lingering on his lips.</p><p>-.-</p><p>“I’m doing it.” He was doing it. <em>Oh god, he was doing it.</em></p><p>It was nearly half past eleven; he wasn’t sure if Yamaguchi would be awake, but he still had to try it. He knew that if he didn’t call him now, he would chicken later.</p><p>He listened to the rain outside his window for a while, and watched the cars passing by.<br/>Before regretting it, he grabbed his phone and dialed the number with trembling hands.</p><p>“¿Yamaguchi?”</p><p>“Tsukki? Wha-?”</p><p>“Can you come over tomorrow? Before morning practice?”</p><p>A pause. Kei actually closed his eyes and crossed his fingers, though he would deny it until his last breath.</p><p>The answer reached him as a whisper through the static.<br/>“Sure.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Short one.</p><p>Thanks for reading!</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. fireflies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Last chapter!</p><p>LET'S GOOO!!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When he heard the doorbell, he waited a bit before opening the door, so it wouldn’t look like he had been waiting there for half an hour. Which he totally hadn’t.</p><p>Yamaguchi was there, hiding from the rain under a yellow umbrella. Kei forced the flowers down. They looked at each other and Kei opened the door wider. Yamaguchi didn’t move.</p><p>“Listen, Tsukishima, I know...” he lost the trail of his words and looked at the ground.</p><p>“Just come inside.” he said quietly. Yamaguchi had just called him Tsukishima for the first time in years, but that didn’t matter. It didn’t matter because he understood perfectly that his friend was mad at him. He had the right to be.</p><p>He had been thinking about it all night long. He liked Yamaguchi, but if the only way to be with him was being only friends, he wouldn’t complain. He didn’t blame him. Who in their right mind would want to date Tsukishima Kei, anyways?</p><p>Yamaguchi followed Kei into his bedroom and then they sat awkwardly on his bed.</p><p>“Hey, Tsukki?”</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“It’s really nice seeing you again.” Yamaguchi smiled looking at the floor, and then he shifted a bit. “We’re...we’re okay, right? Everything’s cool between us?”</p><p>Kei sighed a bit as Sugawara’s voice told him again and again “It’s worth the try”.</p><p>“Of course it is.” Kei straightened his glasses.</p><p>Yamaguchi looked at him and then looked at the tiny dinosaurs that were laying on the desk. “Because it’s like...last time I saw you we were in the gym, and then you ran away and I…” he exhaled a bit shakily, “...I haven’t heard from you since then, not even a text or anything, so… We’re still friends, right?</p><p>All those days...Yamaguchi had been thinking about that?</p><p>Kei gave a curt nod, barely keeping the flowers at bay. <em>Friends</em>. What a bitter word.</p><p>Next to him, Yamaguchi nodded and shifted a bit.<br/>Kei looked at his friend (right, friend) and wondered why Yamaguchi was looking so sad. Perhaps he didn’t want to be even friends anymore, but he didn’t know how to tell him. Kei felt the flower thorns on his lungs, and the words left his mouth before he could think about it.</p><p>“Why do you look so down? You don’t wanna be friends with me?” Now it was his turn to shift uncomfortably.</p><p>“What? No!” Yamaguchi glanced at him alarmed, and then he looked away pouting, “I- I just gotta get over it.”</p><p>“Get over what?”</p><p>“Y-...Nevermind.” Yamaguchi seemed to refuse to look at him, and maybe it was Kei’s eyes playing him, but he could swear he saw a slight flush on his friend’s face.</p><p>Was that a sparkle of hope? His heart started to beat faster.</p><p>“Yamaguchi.”</p><p>It was a ridiculous idea, of course. It didn’t make sense, and it was too good to be true. But he had to know for sure. <em>“It’s worth the try”.</em></p><p>“Yamaguchi,” he repeated, his voice coming out in a panicked whisper “do you like me?”</p><p>Silence fell around them like a heavy blanket.</p><p>“Of course I like you, you’re my best friend.”</p><p>Kei scoffed a bit, even though it made his lungs hurt from the flowers. “You know what I mean.”</p><p>“Well, I mean, obviously yes, but I-” he inhaled shakily “I really don’t know when it started, okay? And don’t worry about it, I will get over it, I just need some time. Sorry.”</p><p>“Yamaguchi.”</p><p>His friend jumped a bit, and it was like a dam broke. “I’m really sorry, Tsukki. And I don’t want to ruin our friendship, but if you feel uncomfortable with that I understand but-” his voice cracked “I’ve always admired you a lot but then I started to feel this too and I didn’t know what to do…”</p><p>“Yams.”</p><p>“-I don’t want to lie to you. I want to be your friend and practice receives with you and hang out, but I also…” Yamaguchi took a deep breath and shuddered “...I also want to hold your hand and maybe k-”</p><p>
  <em>“Tadashi.”</em>
</p><p>“I’m sorry, Tsukki.” he choked out.</p><p>Now, Kei wasn’t good with words. He never had been. At that moment, he was completely lost, so he didn’t know what to do before trying something uncalled for, like kissing him. Because it was happening. Yamaguchi liked him back.</p><p>Yamaguchi stood up, and he had made his way to the door when Kei found his voice again. “Come here, dumbass.” he said, standing on his feet, and hating how Kageyama-like he sounded.</p><p>Without thinking too much about it, he catched up to his friend and embraced him. Yamaguchi hugged him fiercely, and then started sobbing against Kei’s shoulder.</p><p>“I thought you hated me.”</p><p>“Hate you?” Kei looked at him confused, placing his hands on Yamaguchi’s trembling shoulders “Why would I hate you?”</p><p>“When we practiced those receives.” he shrugged “When I went to kiss you Tanaka-senpai said that, and you ran away, so I assumed-”</p><p>Kei blinked dumbly. “You what?”</p><p>Yamaguchi blushed “I’m sorry, okay? You just looked so terrified and then you ran away and you haven’t attended school or practice in weeks.”</p><p>“I ran away because I had to puke petals, not because I didn’t want to-” he snapped his mouth shut.</p><p>“Petals?” Yamaguchi looked at him confused, and furrowed his brow “But that means you have Hanahaki. <em>Wait</em>.”</p><p>Now it was Kei’s turn to blush.</p><p>“No way.” Yamaguchi buried his face on Kei’s shoulder “<em>No way</em>.”</p><p>“What?” he managed to smirk a bit.</p><p>“I’ve liked you for years” Yamaguchi mumbled onto his shoulder “You can’t just pull that one on me. You like me?”</p><p>Kei took a deep breath. Nodded.</p><p>They awkwardly sat on the bed again, but this time they were on the same page. Yamaguchi boldly took his hand and squeezed it.</p><p>“I like you too.” he whispered.</p><p>And just like that, the pressure on his chest disappeared, and he was able to breathe again. Sugawara was right. The flowers were just...gone. No thorns threatening to cut his lungs. No flowers reaching his lips. He felt dizzy, but the fresh air on his lungs felt amazing. He inhaled deeply, realizing how little he could breathe before. Inhale. Exhale. And again.</p><p>“I think I just got cured.” he whispered, touching his chest with his free hand. “It wasn’t unrequited love,” he realized, “we just thought it was”.Yamaguchi squeezed again his other hand “Oi, you’re cutting my blood circulation.”</p><p>“Sorry, Tsukki,” he apologized, but he didn’t let go of his hand “Your hands are pretty.”</p><p>“You’re such a sap.” he scoffed “It’s okay” he added, and squeezed his hand back “C’mon, I’ll walk you to practice.”</p><p>-.-</p><p>Sugawara and Daichi were sitting on the club’s room stairs again. They stopped kissing when they saw them. Daichi mumbled something about preparing the net and disappeared into the gym. Sugawara turned around.</p><p>“If you saw that, no you didn’t.” he smiled like the Cheshire cat when he saw Kei and waved at Yamaguchi.</p><p>When Yamaguchi had to go in order to get ready, they both sat on the stairs. Kei felt like he should thank him, but he didn’t know why. It was irritating.</p><p>“I can’t believe it took me a love disorder to figure out my feelings” he straightened his glasses.</p><p>“You know it wasn’t love what made you sick, right?”</p><p>Kei shrugged and then nodded. It was no use contradicting Sugawara, anyways.</p><p>“I’m happy for you two.”</p><p>“How did you know?”</p><p>Sugawara smiled knowingly and patted his shoulder.</p><p>Kei took a deep breath, relishing in the feeling “You’re probably right.”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“It’s worth the try.” he said, unable to get rid of the shit-eating grin of his face.</p><p> </p><p>He walked with Yamaguchi to the gym, and then stopped. He didn’t want to say goodbye.</p><p>“You want me to come after afternoon practice?”</p><p>“Sure.” he took his hand and holded it.</p><p>They stood like that until Kageyama and Hinata arrived. The orange haired boy wiggled his eyebrows at them holding hands until his friend took him inside.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m really happy about this.”</p><p>“Really?” he teased. There was an unspoken “Me too.”</p><p>“Reallyreally.”</p><p>Yamaguchi smiled brightly. It was nearly blinding. He pulled him into a hug and then quickly kissed his cheek before disappearing into the gym.</p><p>“See ya later.”</p><p>And even if being an absolute sap wasn’t a thing he wanted to add to his salty-boy reputation, perhaps it didn’t matter anymore. So Kei smiled a bit as he watched him walk away. He escaped from the gym when he saw Hinata and Kageyama looking at him rather suspiciously and walked away. As he sat on his bed and took off his headphones, he could swear his feet hadn’t touched the ground all the way home.</p><p><em>Oh, god.</em> His brother would surely demand a detailed explanation of everything. And he should schedule a doctor’s appointment.</p><p>But everything was alright. There would be time to talk about dating or kissing later, but the important thing was that everything was alright again. This afternoon, he mentally chided himself. He would see Yamaguchi again that afternoon. And they could text until then. No need to freak out.</p><p>He felt like the fireflies he had been named after, shining in the night with the stars that once again accompanied him.</p><p> </p><p>When he looked down, he nearly screamed as he saw his dinosaur pajamas. Had he really walked all the way to school and back on his tiny dinosaur pajamas? <em>Goddammit.</em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So, this is it. Hope y'all enjoyed.<br/>Perhaps one day I'll edit it, but for the time being I'm pretty happy with it.</p><p>Thanks for reading, and for leaving kudos and comments!</p>
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